How to have a shower in a campervan

Most campervans in the UK don't have a bathroom. The ones that do tend to have a cupboard you can wash in if you don't mind soaking the toilet. So the honest answer to "how do you shower?" is "outside, mostly, and quickly".

Here are the methods we actually use, roughly in order of how often.

The tailgate shower

The best setup for a van with a tailgate or a rear awning. You need three things:

• A 12-volt shower pump that drops into a bucket or jerry can and plugs into a cigarette-lighter socket. They cost about the same as a round of drinks and push a surprisingly decent spray.
• A shower tent or a tailgate curtain. A pop-up toilet tent is the cheap option. A tailgate shower curtain that clips to the open boot is quicker to set up and packs smaller.
• Something to stand on. A rubber mat, a folding step, or a wooden bath mat. Standing in a puddle of your own run-off undoes the point.

Heat the water first. Half a kettle into a ten-litre bucket of cold brings it to pleasantly warm. Ten litres is enough for a proper wash if you turn the pump off while you soap. Wet, pump off, wash, pump on, rinse. Done in four minutes.

The solar bag

A black bag you fill in the morning and leave on the dashboard or the roof. On a warm day it is hot by lunchtime; on a cloudy day it is tepid by teatime. Hang it from the tailgate, the awning rail or a tree.

They are cheap, light and need no electricity. The limits are the weather and the hanging point. Worth carrying as a backup even if you have a pump.

The kettle wash

Call it a strip wash or a flannel wash, it's how most people stay clean on a two-night trip. Kettle, bowl, flannel, a towel on the floor. Hair over the bowl or over the side step.

It sounds grim and it isn't. The trick is to do it as soon as you get back from the walk, while the van is still warm from the drive and you haven't yet sat down. Leave it until bedtime and you won't bother.

Borrow one

Campsites, obviously. But also:

• Leisure centres and swimming pools. Most will sell you a shower for a couple of pounds, and some will let you swim too.
• Pubs with rooms. It never hurts to ask when you're staying the night in the car park, especially if you're eating. Some say yes.
• Marinas and harbours. Shower blocks for visiting boats, often with an honesty box.
• Motorway services. Not glamorous, but on the drive home it's an option.

Water, warmth and where it goes

A few things that make all of this easier:

1. Carry more water than you think. Twenty litres a day for two people covers tea, cooking, washing up and one modest shower each. See water, waste and where to empty for carrying and refilling.
2. Pick your spot. Shower run-off is grey water. Do it on gravel or grass that drains, never near a stream, and never in a pub car park without asking.
3. Towels dry slower than you think. Microfibre towels dry in an hour on the mirror. Cotton ones are nicer and take all day.
4. Do it in daylight. A warm shower in the sun after a walk is one of the best bits of the whole van thing. The same shower in the dark with a head torch is not.

If you only buy one thing, buy the 12-volt pump. Everything else can be improvised with a bucket and a bit of nerve.